Fireworks and Diwali

It is now that time of the year when everyone has had a hectic year. From debt repayments, to no income, to some income to success for many people. There is a sense of euphoria as a tough year winds to a close and people are starting to get into party mode.

The celebrations are beginning as everyone anticipates the close to a great year for some and a financially challenging one for others. The bond that remains for everyone though, is in the fact that each day brings us closer to Christmas and the much anticipated holidays.

With that in mind, Guy Fawkes seems to be one of those special November celebrations where you can have mindless fun. Who knows why this day is so famous when some guy tried to blow up Parliament, but it is a holiday nontheless. One which entails much partying, blowing up of fireworks, burning of scarecrows, banging on the neighbors house door for money and much mindless fun for kids. The fact remains this. On this day, which is not religious, no-one has a challenge with anyone blowing up fireworks because it is reminicent of Mr Fawkes blowing up or attempting to blow up a building. Who knows why that is significant to South Africa, but it is. So we celebrate it. People sedate their dogs, are mindful that their animals are safe and go out to greet or growl at the kids that knock on their doors.

Then comes Diwali, which is of huge significance to Hindus around the world. A day that signifies the end of Terror (Note it is when the Devil was defeated - hence Hindus have no hell and no devil to be scared off), and the lighting of fireworks is meant to signify the destruction and scaring off, of evil spirits, bad energy and Light conquering Darkness (Good conquers evil).  It is also our New Year. Much like the Chinese, fireworks form a significant part of the destroying of darkness and the welcoming of light. I have not heard any complaints about Chinese New Year, yet it seems that Diwali being a Hindu religious festival is the main focus for South Africans to focus on for the wrong reasons.

Now let me explain myself further, before many people vomit, throw up or regurgitate their anger on me. We are a family that love dogs and animals. Let me give you some perspective. We had growing up, 27 dogs (many rescued from the circus, from the Free State farms and off the streets), we also had tarantulas, snakes, an iguana, scorpions, fish and lots of birds. We are a family who not only love but respect all animals.

Even in the predominantly Indian areas, there is a vast majority of people who do not celebrated Diwali and they own pets. The difference between them and the people who complain, create an uproar and throw tantrums, is that they know for an entire year that Diwali is about to descend upon them and they take the necessary precautions to safe guard their pets from harm.

See, the way I see life is this. We all have choice. Sit in your lounge and complain or do something about it. Destroying traditions is not the solution. Complaining is not either. Take a stand the right way.

I also have nothing against any religion or religious beliefs, but I do have a tendency to get pissed off with animal abuse from anyone!! I personally do not light fireworks that have big bangs, but do love watching them when they are set off at the stadiums, during Diwali on the beachfront and on New Years eve. I personally make sure that people are aware in communities and via word of mouth about the significance of making sure that animals are either sedated or taken care of during ANY time that fireworks are being used for any festival.

During the World Cup celebrations, fireworks were used everywhere. There were no designated areas or restrictions. During New Year celebrations, people become over enthusiastic in all areas and shoot of fireworks in their drunken state towards vehicles, people and animals. That is just disgusting. But no-one does anything. Police are scarce and even afraid of doing something themselves. I do not see huge headlines, warnings or patrolling of the various suburbs where people insanely burst fireworks without care for others.

With that in mind, it is now bordering on harrassment when neighbors send police to my house because they saw a Rocket launched into the air. One baby rocket mind you. Not a big bang, not a scary noise maker, but a colourful explode mindlessly in the sky with beautiful colours one, lit by a visitors child.

Now I take umbrage to being harrassed by a neighbor who still calls us Coolies (very backward mentality), calls the fire brigade because we decided to cook in our own backyard, for the underprivileged street kids (ps..it is easier to cook for 200 people in a massive pot on the fire, rather than cook on a stove) and then he also proceeds to state that we are disturbing the peace and tormenting his dogs emotionally (the same dogs that he physically kicks and whips to stop barking).
Now the true significance of Diwali is lost in the stupidity of people who come out of their worm holes long enough to make phone calls of harrassment and then disappear. These are the very same people who also write anonymous letters of disgust for Hindus.The very same kind that do not take the time to learn about other peoples religions or languages but are happy to stereotype everyone in their path enmasse. The very same type of people, who keep asking me to convert to Christianity to save me from the devil. For their information, I do not believe in a hell or devil and am quite happy with my beliefs that all religions are there for the good of mankind.

I am not religious! I do not even force my spiritual beliefs on anyone. I believe simply in being good and kind and to respect the people that I see, than to pretend to respect a higher being once in a while.

People will be up in arms around the world if I had to blatantly say that Christmas should be banned because I do not believe in it. After all, it is one of thee most significant days in the Christian calender - the Day their Saviour was born. Before anyone balks at that statement - I do believe in Christmas and its deep significance for people. As Hindus, we are taught to respect and understand all religions. We are even taught lessons from the Bible.

In the same breathe, it is equally as disgusting and unacceptable for Hindus to be told that we are devil worshippers and are going to to hell if we do not embrace the Christian religion. That is uncalled for, against human rights, beliefs and individual choice. Asking for the banning of fireworks instead of the increase in awareness of Adults is much the same. How about we focus on being more careful and thoughtful of people and animals rather than focus negatively and demean an entire religious celebration. Come on people. We have enough access to information, media, internet and real people so we should be more mature in the way we behave towards each other.

I am tired of being called a heathen and idol worshipper. If you as a person are so backward in your beliefs that you will fall for any bullshit that is spun then good luck to you. I came onto this earth free of a language, religion, beliefs and thoughts. My awareness of life is from my upbringing. Which in essence, means that I was spoon fed a belief system. Whether I believe in it or not is not the issue. What I DO believe, is that at the end of the day, no-one has a right to force me or others to follow what they were taught.

Religion was made by man. It is a set of rules for mankind to follow so that they can achieve various spiritual levels. I will not deny anyone their beliefs nor profess to be a guide for someone who wants to achieve this. It is a personal journey. It is one filled with choice.

All Rights to this photo belong to the Creator (Anonymous)

With that in mind, I feel that if I want to burn fireworks, then as an individual, I should have the brains to realise that it will affect my fellow human beings with the noise levels and that it is scary and dangerous to animals who are not taken care of. Hence my thoughtfulness in making sure that I take extra precautions and go to areas where it is acceptable.

I will not however, condone people who use fireworks irresponsibly and hurt animals without thought. I will not accept children being hurt from lack of supervision. I will not stand by and watch an animal in pain because of the repercussions of the misuse of fireworks.

But I will stand up for the right to use fireworks responsibly because I truly believe that it signifies the conquering of Good over Evil. I love the colours, the comaraderie and the beauty of Diwali. I love the sense of family, thoughtfulness and joy that can be seen on childrens faces. I love the significance of welcoming a new Year into the Hindu calendar. I welcome the lessons and love that is taught and re-instilled on this wonderful day.

But above all, I welcome all people to join with an open mind. I welcome people around the world to take precautions for their own pets on this day, in the same way that they do on New Years and Guy Fawkes day and Fourth of July.

Let us be adults and find solutions. Not remove an entire religious day due to the lack of understanding from some people.

Here is to a powerful celebration where Knowledge wins over ignorance. Good over Evil. And seriously!!!! We have no devil..so leave me alone.

I welcome all threats, disbelief and whatever else tickles your fancy.

Until we meet,

take care and have fun!

Arthie Moore

Religion..dare I go there!

I have thought about this for a while and have finally concluded that I have a right to express exactly how I feel on this subject.

I know that it might rile a few nerves but then again, I cannot make everyone happy. This post is merely my take and impression on religion. The one thing that can make, break, heal and bring either war or love to mankind.

So here goes...the reason for my ramblings began with another one of those experiences where I could either laugh or cry with frustration at the madness of some people.

I am personally very spiritual. I do not believe that I need to advertise my own personal beliefs or go to any specific building to prove that I believe in a higher being that has given me the gift of life. I believe. That is all the explanation that is needed.

So my take on religion is this...Religion has been created by Man as a set of rules for Mankind to achieve various spiritual experiences. Many will debate this, but I welcome open thinking. Maybe if women were involved with input or their thoughts with some of the scriptures...there might be a fairer view on some of the lessons involved.

Anyway..I enjoy going to Cathedrals and sitting in a quiet pew, feeling the awesome heavy stillness descend upon me. Something I do not experience anywhere. I love going to the Hilltop in Inanda to experience the joy of the Shembe people when they celebrate with their haunting music and slow, rythmic dancing. I enjoy going to the Bhuddist temples to revel in the calm, gentle spirituality that exudes from the solemness of the meditating priests. I enjoy going to the various temples to witness the beautiful comaraderie between the gorgeous temple goers of the various Hindu faiths. I love meditation when I feel like doing it. I love breaking fast at Passover with my Jewish friends and celebrating the end of Eid with my Muslim ones. I also support and join the journey of my friends during Lent.

So in simple terms..I love and respect all religions. I strongly believe that everyone has a right to worship or not in the way they believe is the right way for themselves. It is a very personal journey.

Hence this blog. I have been feeling a bit riled up by the recently increasing forcefulness of various individuals who have deemed it their duty on this earth to convert me. I do not feel the need to profess an undying devotion to any particular religion to make it easier for people to understand me. It is my personal journey and will always be so.

It is just frustrating to be told continiously that the Devil is living in me and that I am going to hell if I do not accept a certain religion. Now I love alot about that religion, but the Devil does not exist in my wonderful world. As for hell?? methinks it is the best manipulative thought to have ever been created.

I mean, why fear going to hell when you die, when we are creating the worst type of hell on our precious Earth right now whilst we are living and breathing.

We are a continent of people who are currently murdering, raping, killing, stealing, hurting, damaging, demeaning, de-moralising and destroying our fellow human beings and Mother Nature..What is worse than that..pray do tell?

What can be worse that the wars that are starting using the name of religion in vain? That is mankinds greed, envy, gluttony, pride, hatred, anger etc..

How about we each as individuals, use the amazing teachings our religion or personal beliefs teach us and strive to make this world a better place right now, right here, in this moment, without advertising our religion.

How about we drop all pretences and really, truly accept and rejoice that all human beings deserve a place on this earth. That the word diversity encompasses different ways of thinking, understanding, wisdom, knowledge, mannerisms, experience, wants, needs, hopes, dreams, feelings and above all individual choice.

Each person is perfect as they are and their beliefs in religion or not is perfect for that person too.

So my plea to the really, over excited converting types..leave peoples personal choice of religion to themselves. Stop forcing something that was intended to bring love and hope into the lives of people and changind it into something that is compulsory and hurtful if one does not choose that path.

Let us all start to respect the people we can see in front of us right now, instead of professing to be holier than everyone else.

As far as I am concerned..if a person is comfortable to believe in devils and hell..then that is their choice..please keep it close and leave me alone. I do not wish to enjoy any religion through fear of what could happen. It is already happening, with our racism, prejudices, paedophiles, pornography, bad behaviour, underlying gossipping and backbiting. If anyone can prove to me that there are worse things than that in an afterlife..then I am willing to listen with an open mind.

Until then..love the beliefs that you choose and keep it sacred!

Making Memories..

As a society, we have been taught to work hard, play hard, earn money, buy things, aspire to have the biggest car, best home, provide the best education for our children and to have the perfect life.

All the wonderful things you can have and achieve if you want to and if you dream big and work for it. But is that all that there is to to life?

I look at people everyday who live in informal settlements, who take a bus to work, they do not have the latest technology, contract phone, flatscreen tv or even a fridge filled with expensive food. What they do have is a life filled with awesome memories.

Sure enough, they are worried about where their next meal is going to come from, when they will be able to get a home that has solid walls, where their next income will come from and whether they will ever get out of the slumps of living in squalor. But speak to anyone of them and ask them if they are happy. Truly happy as a family. Many will answer with a resounding yes. Yes they are happy that they have their family with them. Yes, they are grateful for the plate of food they have because they are able to share it together. The point being that they are together. They are families who pray, eat, drink, talk, laugh, cry and share everything together.

Compared to the people who are striving and working so hard to achieve the best for their families, but at the end of the day, are so tired that they miss out on the essential and pivotal moments of laughter and growth in their own children.

I was thinking about how little time we make to create the very memories that contribute to who we become as adults. You know those memories, like when your dad read a story to you or when you got washed away by a freak wave and your mum hauled you out and became your hero. The love that grew in those moments can never be replaced by the obscure memory of when you got a new playstation or watched tv all day long.

Nowadays, we are just content to buy the latest gadgets for our kids and shower them with inane gifts to cover up our guilt for not spending quality time with them. Toys are there to be ooohed and aaaahed over for a paltry 10 minutes then launched into the -to be forgotten - box.

Whatever happened to us letting go and encouraging our kids to take a walk with us in the afternoons just to feel the wind in our hair and count the number of red cars that pass us by.
What has happened to us that we have forgotten to be spontaneous enough to jump into the car on a school night and go the beach, grab an ice cream and meander aimlessly to soak up the gorgeous night lights and stars whilst listening to the crashing of the waves against the endless sleepy sands..

Memories do not just live in the form of a photograph. They live in the deep hidden recesses of ones heart, mind, body and soul. It lives on for an eternity, ready to be pulled up suddenly when triggered off by a song, touch, thought or gentle reminder.

We feed off our memories in times of joy, pain, sadness and love. We thrive on their very existence to add to our own lives and how we choose to live it.

In our darkest hour, we haul up the best memories - mainly the ones that did not cost a cent to create - to help us heal in our time of need.

Think about it...when we die..as we are all bound to..what memories will your children, spouse or family have of you? Is it ones where they reminesce about how hard you worked and the beautiful home (or debt) you left behind or will it be that you loved them with all of your heart, being there when they needed you the most?

My aim is to create memories where I listened to them when they spoke, was thoughtful in my giving, spontaneous in my random acts of fun and spending time and money on adventures. Even though it may not be the latest gadget or toy, the fun interaction is thoughtful and more meaningful in its giving and excitedly recieved by all that I interact with.

Children are not interested in how much money you can spend. They are interested in you as a person. They are sitting there waiting in impatient anticipation for the knowledge and wisdom that you have to share with them. Make life an adventure of discovery. Plant a tree with your kids, take a walk, lie on the grass, play in the rain, embrace life in its simplicity.

After all, making memories is free. It does not take money..it takes something more precious than that - It takes your time.

So live each day as if it is your last and make it meaningful to you and the very people around you that you are working so hard to provide for. Give them your time!



Play in the park..Just Coz..it is fun to do so..

Play in the rain..be rebellious and let your inner child shine..

Howl at the moon..or sit outside with a mini picnic at night...nature has a gorgeous way of inspiring us with her beauty..lets take advantage and revel in it..!!

until the next time,
take care and have fun!
Arthie Moore

Technology. Our excuse for not Listening!

Removing our Facades!

It is really incredible to watch how social media has created a fantastic platform for business growth as well as friendships. Linking people who would never have had the opportunity to meet in this lifetime. The power of using it well allows you to boost your business, network with a click of a button without having to cold call, build your own confidence, make millions, create virtual products and become famous..or not.

Without achieving much or having any real people skills, you can have more than a thousand friends. Many of whom you will never meet, talk to or know their life stories. Some, you will connect with and start a momentum of fun and insane banter or build a really awesome friendship with.

The downside though, is that we have stopped interacting in a face to face social environment. What you see on the internet or cyberspace, is not who you really are in person. People who are normally introverted in real life, become fun party animals on their profiles.

It is scary then to consider, that we are now falling in love with facades. More scarier than that?..is when we start to believe those very facades that we create for ourselves as being real.

Maybe, we are scared of socialising with real people and find it easier to build friendships via social media because it is easier not to get hurt that way.

Mixit, Facebook, Myspace etc..has a huge following for a simple reason. In our attempt as human beings to keep up with technology, we have stopped looking at what is in front of us. We are lonely and do not know how to connect with people right in front of us.

The power that social media gives to you, is the ability to remove someone from your life with just one click of the delete and block button.

As I sat contemplating the way that the youth are fighting boredom, it occured to me that as adults, we stopped caring..As simple as that. Even as adults, we have been projecting our own inadequacies and fears upon our own families and children. We have stopped listening and stopped talking.

In truth, we have stopped embracing our hummaness. We protect ourselves so much and have created such a huge defensive layer around us, that we do not know how to take it down anymore. The facades are now glued on and we now falsely believe that it cannot be removed.

In the same way that it is so easy to create a relationship via technological means, it has also become so easy to break up with someone via email, sms, skype or messaging. Where has our sense of dignity, honour and respect gone to?

We use, abuse and blame technology for not pitching up to a get together, for cancelling an important event, missing a party or forgetting the people in our lives, who count on us to be there in their time of need.

It is also becoming more and more difficult to stimulate our children with all of the technology just waiting to be embraced by our little ones. So in our attempt to live our own lives of fun and socialising, we throw nintendo, Wii, playstation, X-box, laptops and cellphones at them and hope that they will keep quiet and stay out of our way.

We have stopped listening. We have stopped interacting. We have stopped connecting on a human level to the very people we created and brought onto this earth. Our excuse? Technology.

We do not use technology as a reason to build relationships. We use it as our excuse to not connect, support, guide and be with people in the flesh.

I have also found that some young people are learning to speak differently and in code. Their pain is very real. Their fears deep. Their dreams huge. Their vision limited. Limited by the lack of real people to guide them through an integral time of their lives.

Yes, sure there are technological geniuses amongst young people. But they are few and far between. Most of them know how to use their Blackberrys in ingenius ways, use Youtube to promote themselves, create incredible websites that generate income and use social media to improve their popularity..but for the rest, there is simply the cellphone with internet access, camera and sms'ing to help them keep up with the fast pace evolving around them.

For the shy, introverted, kids in pain, their ability to chat to anyone in a social media environment, can either make or break them emotionally. Most feel or get some comfort, some may feel more isolated.

Their code has been created to block adults from understanding what is really going on, because no-one seems to care anyway to crack that code. Mixit is huge for a simple reason in my eyes. People, especially young people, are able to connect and talk and be listened to via the cheapest method availalbe - Cellphone.

Facebook is huge for another reason. It allows people to create any persona they want. They can put up thee most insane photos, videos and updates that will give them the attention they crave but do not get in real life.

Can you imagine a world where encouraged others to shine in their true selves? That is why Mindpower, Self Empowerment, Transformational programmes, Positive thinking and Freedom techniques exist.

We are in desperate need to find ourselves again. To find who we really are. The person hiding inside waiting to come out and be seen.

If we do not know who we are, how do we expect teenagers and young people to use us as inspiration or a role model? Which facade are they supposed to emulate?

The latest trend seems to be our ability to hide emotions, feel nothing, not hurt, show that we don't really care, when we do and to be nonchalant in the face of sadness.

Are we using such a powerful tool in the form of internet, as an artificial balm to soothe our inability to feel? Are we so averse to embracing emotions that we hide behind technology?

My solution?

Create a balance. Stop long enough to notice the living, breathing, human being right in front of you! Use technology to enhance what already exists. Focus on reality. Reality being the person who needs you to hold their hand in this moment. In this lifetime - treasure your time, this human form we were given should not be wasted. Hug your child. Read to them. Write a love letter. Take a walk. Listen. Talk with thoughtfulness. Talk with care.

When you next create an update, make it positive, uplifting, real. When someone is in pain. Inbox them privately and seriously show them care with your words meant to help them. Don't update to show the world your cleverness. Be genuine. Be kind. Be good.

When someone says, that you do not understand them - make a concerted effort to come down to their level of understanding instead of brushing it off with an inane joke or assumption that it is not worthy of your time. You could save a life!

With your partner, look, really look into their eyes, see their pain, feel their emotions, connect with them. Relationships last alot longer when you take a walk and listen to what is really going on. An sms is cool, as long as it is a follow up to a real conversation. Stop hiding behind one liners. It may be funny now, but later down the line, it becomes a nasty habit that can break relationships.

You never know how much a person is hanging onto your every word, your tone, your body language and more importantly, your sincerity or lack thereof.

Be gentle with your words. Let everything you say, have the intention to build the person.

Emails are awesome! Talking a person even more powerful. Words in writing don't always project exactly what you meant to say. This creates mis-understanding and a mis-interpretation of meaning that can cause an issue in many instances.

With young people, share your wisdom by sitting down and chatting - FACE to FACE! Most people feel mis-understood for the simple reason that we don't care enough to ask. Ask what is worrying them, what makes them sad, what their hopes and dreams are, what do they want to achieve. Just listening will take them a long way to figuring it out themselves anyway.

Young people are energetic, have clear thinking and access to every form of technology for the logical stuff. They will work out stuff eventually. Experience however, will prove a huge boost in their life, if we could lend them our wisdom through conversation. Guidance not domination is the key. Let's start caring more for others rather than our cleverness in getting people to Like us. Let's be genuine in our interactions and figure out how we can start to grow people who still read, think and appreciate a life filled with integrity, hope, honour and dignity in the true sense of the word.

Morale of the story? Connect in a natural way - stop hiding behind technology!

Your life story is important. Share it in a meaningful way. Mentor someone. Guide someone. Look and actually see. Listen and actually hear what is being said. Drop the facades and start to feel. Welcome a world filled with everything that is real whilst embracing the positives of technology. Find a balance and begin to impact our world in a powerful way. Leave your own legacy!

Tolerance

I have been struggling recently with the word "Tolerance". How can you tolerate people and everything that makes them special? I think that the operative words could be "understanding" and "respect." 

That way, we do not limit ourselves into falsely believing that we are tolerating people for the sake of appearances. Respect and understanding means that we have a choice to accept that every single human being is different to us, but we do not have to change to become them.

It opens us up, however, to possibilities and the ability to explore their differences with an open mind, kindness and dignity.

Someone recently told me that they accept diversity..I asked them how? Their answer spoke volumes... "I tolerate the people that I interact with!"..

This conversation has been bugging me. It is not unusual to hear someone say that they tolerate someone, a circumstance, a behaviour, a culture, a religion etc..but why was it so disturbing to hear it now?

Maybe, my awareness has changed or my consciousness is different, but it actually pissed me off. Why do we as human beings, profess to tolerate some one, if we do not like that person. Is it because we not have the guts to stand up and say it out loud or has society deemed it more appeasing to circumstances not to rock the boat by "tolerating" people or situations.

Where is it written in this world..that we have to like every single person we meet? We can stop being hypocrites and walking on egg shells now. It is time to say things clearly, stand up for what is right and speak with integrity. Doing the right thing even when people are not looking.

Whatever happened to the Mind Power and Positive thinking guys who say that you attract to you the type of people you want to surround yourself with..and to run from negativity.. Never lower your standards to fit in with the crowd who expect less from life than you..Think positively and stand up to tyranny is the latest.

How then do we do it with a clear mind filled with integrity, if we blatantly and quite happily say that we tolerate people who are different in some way or the other.

We are all born as babies, who are literally spoon fed our sustenance, our way of thinking, our beliefs, our religion, our language, our thoughts, our ways of being..In other words, we are all born innocent of anything..a clear slate, waiting to be programmed.

The fact that we are all born that way should count for something. We should all acknowledge gratitude for being born innocent, then accept that we were given a life filled with amazing experiences based on our upbringing.

We should then continue that gratitude for the fact that we were taught a language and religion (a set of guidelines) or not, a sense of culture, tradition, idiosyncracies, an education, and a brain to think for ourselves. All of these experiences can either limit us or grows us.

How then, if we were ALL born with a clean slate did we get to the point of believing that we are superior to others based on our different experiences. Should we not be harnessing the very essence of these different, mind challenging, unusual and thought provoking experiences and sharing it with each other instead of saying that we tolerate each other based on these very uniquenesses.

Just because I pray or not, in the same way as you, does not mean that my life is limited in abundance, flowing with love or lacks laughter. Just because, I do not speak English in the way you believe it correct does not give you the right to say that you tolerate my nuances and incorrect use of the language. Just because I do not act, behave, prance, dance or celebrate life the way you do, does not make me any less as a human being..

Maybe, just maybe, if you look closely, you could laugh at the mis-pronunciation and ask me how I would say it in my own language and learn from me. Maybe, just maybe, you could lower your judgements and attend my celebrations, delight in my exquisite cuisine, dance my mad dance, love and laugh the way we do..to understand and respect me in the way I wish to respected.

Maybe, just maybe, you could change the word tolerate to respect and thereby find a common ground of understanding that can only help us to grow together in a powerful team of unique strengths that can absolve most weaknesses. Because maybe, just maybe, my thought patterns being so different, may bring an amazingly different wisdom to the world that will help to heal, rather than destroy.

It is incredible to relieve yourself of the burden of having to tolerate people. If you do not like someone, maybe your beliefs or values do not resonate with them. So choose not to spend time with them, but that does not mean that you have to tolerate them. Everyone is searching for the elusive respect deserving of them.

Many people do not give it. It costs nothing and everything. Yes, it is earned, but at the same time, if you feel that you deserve it, but do not give it, does not mean anything when people respect you through fear or because you deemed it appropriate based on your position or status. They just might be tolerating you too.

My thoughts on this subject? Be true to yourself and the people around. Start embracing change, it is so refreshing. Open up and let people into your life and remove the barriers that are preventing you from experiencing the true person and not the facade you see everyday. There is an incredible depth to everyone you see. If you take the time to actually listen, explore and join them on this fabulous journey called life!

Here's to less judgement and more understanding..

"At the level of Respect, All people are Equal!" Brian and Arthie Moore

Arthie Moore

www.celebratinghumanityinternational.com

www.kileadership.com

www.arthiemoore.com

Cooking on Expresso Show - Butter Chicken Curry

I recently had the good fortune to cook on the Expresso Show live on SABC 3.

I was asked to cook a Butter chicken recipe, which I created and sent through immediately. It was tons of fun and exciting but totally different to what I expected. Eish, I have new found respect for Chefs who cook live.. :)

So for all of my awesome friends and family who wanted the original recipe that I had created for the show, here it is! enjoy..

Butter Chicken Recipe

Served with Basmati Rice, Sambals and Pappaddums

2kg/tray chicken pieces with bone
4 Cardammom pods
2 Cinnamon sticks
1 tablespoon - Crushed ginger and garlic
3 bay leaf
Half a teaspoon of Cumin.
200g Butter ( I won’t use all of it)
3 tablespoons of Butter Ghee (essential)
Tandoori paste (4 tablespoons)
1 whole onion chopped (does not matter how you chop it)
1 tomato grated - Normally the skin is left after grating..throw it away.
1 teaspoon Salt  and Pepper (adjust according to taste)
2 tablespoons of Mixed curry powder
1 teaspoon of Garam masala
1 teaspoon of turmeric powder
1 cup of yoghurt
250ml of fresh cream
1 cup of frozen peas (optional)
Coriander  to garnish.

Method:

Score the chicken. Marinate the chicken with salt, pepper, ginger, garlic, tandoori paste, then pour over the yoghurt and allow to rest for 20 minutes.

Heat a casserole pot, put in the butter ghee and half the butter. Add the onions and the cumin, allow to cook for a few minutes, then add the garam masala, turmeric powder and mixed masala. Allow the curry powder to cook for a few minutes then add the grated tomato. Add the bay leaves, cardamom pods and cinnamon sticks and the chicken with the marinade. Stir and allow all the ingredients to mix properly, cover and let it cook over medium heat.  

It normally takes about 20 minutes depending on how much chicken you are using.

To finish, add the fresh cream, adjust seasoning ( add peas in if you like at this stage and switch off the heat) and put the remainder of the butter.  Give it one last stir. Garnish with coriander and serve.

 Side Dishes will consist of the following:

Sambals:

One onion chopped into tiny squares
One tomato chopped finely into squares
2 – 3 chillies
Coriander to garnish
Lemon juice
Fine salt

Mix the chopped onion, tomato and chillies and coriander together and season with fine salt and lemon juice.

Pappadums:

Can be fried in a frying pan with a little Sunflower oil. This takes a few seconds and has to be done at the end.

Basmati Rice

Cook Basmati rice as normal and serve as a side dish.

ps..for those of you who want to watch the recording..here is the link:

Butter Chicken Recipe

Inspired by Mother Nature

Somedays I feel so excited and bursting with energy to take on the world and let loose all of this pent up fascination to create, explore, travel, write and just connect with people. Then other days, I just want to cuddle up on the couch with a good old fashioned juicy red wine, blue cheese and movies.

Such are the moments in our lives when we feel inspired to do something great and then the balance to just chill. Inspiration, I find for me is coming more and more from nature, our sunrises, sunsets, landscapes, shadows and ever changing happy, laughing clouds.

I feel so inspired just by the fact that I am alive! I feel gratitude for the travelling, interaction and life changing work that we do, that allows us to be a part of an ever changing lanscape of dramatic thunderstorms, delightful sunshine and wonderous rainy, cloudy days.

To feel sunshine upon my face, lightens up my heart with the warmth and love that is Mother Natures way of giving us something that is free and there for the taking. And then I realise that I have more to be grateful for. Our lives are filled with everything that is free yet we indebt ourselves with manmade objects of desire..a desire that slowly fades away as the whimsical need for it diminishes and the next bright object replaces it.

Are we so filled with desire to own, manage, build, break, damage, destroy, hurt and fill our lives with things so much so, that we fail to see that the best things in life are indeed free.

We travel to far off countries in search of the elusive fun, rest and relaxation that we can get in our own backyard. Sitting outside in your own garden, you can soak up the rays of joy that the sun bestows upon you - for free.. Revelling in the everchanging clouds from naughty thin streaks to fat, juicy, plumpy clouds..the fascination never ends..The delicious sounds of rain pitter pattering on your window or rooftop, soothes with the irregular rhythm that is unique to sudden storms or gentle rainfall. What more could one ask for?

Take heed and be wary of overlooking the simplicity of what we have in front of us. Be careful that we become so blase that we forget the true beauty that is waiting to be acknowledged right here, right now, in the moment. With every breathe we inhale, we are taking from Mother Nature. With every meal, we are sustaining our life blood and diminishing hers. So be more aware! Be more concious and grateful and be inspired by what we have been given. It is after all, a privilege and not a right.

Mother Nature is inspiring us out of our lazy boredom that is dependent on electronic stimulation. She is giving us the joys of life that is there for the living. Be inspired, be wowed, be humbled. I am in awe of Mother Nature's greatness. The mere fact that us mortals have been given the opportunity to share in this wonderous earth overwhelms me.

I am grateful. I am inspired.

Arthie Moore

www.kileadership.com

www.celebratinghumanityinternational.com

www.arthiemoore.com

Travel..Just Coz!!

Recently, I spontaneously decided to go on the Skycar at Moses Mabida Stadium in Durban just for the fun of it. I loved it!! Whilst taking photos, I realised that we seldom look at the beauty of our own city. We spend thousands of rands going overseas to observe the beauty of other cultures, landscapes, food, music and cities.

The amazing thing is that we can do all of this in our own cities for very little money.

My suggestion, is that you should stop randomly and enjoy the simple sights of your own city. Go on tours, walking, driving, flying or being driven. Soak up the sun in your own backyard. Revel in the joys of local music and cuisine..

Interact with strangers in your own neighborhood who are just waiting for you to smile and introduce yourself. Friendships are simple, they are there for the taking. Why limit ourselves to friendships on social networking sites only..greet people randomly and strike a conversation that can change your life, your thoughts, your perspectives and add to your experience.

Go pub hopping with a group of friends and have a spectacular time, doing what you would normally only do overseas. Let your hair down Just Coz!! you can...

Take your wallet and a backpack with overnight clothes. Book into a Guesthouse, Bed and Breakfast or farmhouse. Jump into your car, choose a city nearby and go road tripping. Stop when you are bored, fascinated or find something interesting.

Know that your city is hungrily awaiting your love, time, approval and attention.

Morale of the story..Get out of the mundane routine of waiting until you have enough money to travel to exotic destinations..Stop limiting yourself and travel for the love of it. Explore what is right in front of you!

Look at your own country in the same delighted way, millions of tourists see it. Life is deliciously exciting..Let's get out there and Live!!

until the next time, take care and have fun!

Arts

How Personality affects relationships.

Everyone has advice on what you should and should not do in a relationship..Lots of do's and don'ts that do not help in the heat of the moment when you are in a conflict situation or in a new relationship where you are still walking on eggshells.

I am no relationship expert and do not profess to be one. I can merely talk about my experiences and hope that my interactions with others will help you in some way. I have since realised that every situation is very different solely because the people you are interacting with come from very different cultures, upbringing, thought patterns, experiences, languages, traditions and most importantly, personalities.

It you had to take all of this into account before launching into a relationship, you would not get very far and might just give up. Such is the vast expanse of exploring you would have to do, to learn the intricacies of the mind of the person you are interacting with.

If you think about it. The person you meet and potentially want to create a relationship with, comes with their own visions of romance (or not), their own set of checklists in what is acceptable and not acceptable behaviours, needs and wants, pains, anger, hurt and expectations from past experiences and upbringing.

With that in mind, you also realise that you also come with your own set of hangups plus all of the above expectations too. So two very different people connecting on a superficial level of - Fun, smart, funny, handsome, caring, perfect, tall, giving, etc.. find out later down the line that there is more to the facade than meets the eye.

People have the inherent ability to adjust their personalities to suit a situation, thus creating fascinating chameleons of change and depending on which face was on at the time, that is who you fall in love with. Later on, the various facades change again until you begin to feel comfortable and settle into the relationship, thus allowing the true personality to come forth like a rollercoaster that comes to a halt. Only problem is that you are stuck wondering if this is the ride you actually signed up for. It could be exciting or daunting.
It could be fun or frustrating. One of the important keys to a successful, long lasting relationship is to understand the other persons true personality. It actually benefits each of you to know this simple skill from the beginning as it prevents alot of conflict, mis-communication, fights, anger and tears in your relationship.

Many people that we encounter on a daily basis, realise too late that it their personalities were the reason that they were growing apart. Attending a course on personality types makes so much sense. Or just reading up on the subject helps. There are tons of books out there that are simple and effective. My favourite being - "Personality Plus" by Florence Litauer.

There are 4 Distinct Personality types but many combinations. Namely, Strong (Choleric), Perfectionist (Melancholic), Fun (Sanguine) and Peaceful (Phlegmatic) People.

Being with a perfectionist, allows you to adjust your expectations and decide if you want to live a life knowing that you will always have your environment, travel and life mapped out. They have a vision of how much they can make your life perfect by creating the perfect environment, perfect day, perfect date, perfect situation etc..unfortunately, life is not perfect and it can get quite upsetting if you are on the wrong side of imperfection. Perfectionists show their love for you by making your life easier in the way they prepare everything for you..The awesome thing about them, is that your car will always have a service on time, the fridge will be full and the bills paid on time.

Being with a Strong take charge type of person, allows you to re-adjust how you approach them in conversation, make decisions your life and always have the last say. They tend to need to be taken seriously, deffered to, allowed to take the lead generally. You might run at this point as fights can get quite aggressive with words that cut deep into your heart. Their strengths lie in their ability to stand up for what is right in life. They are ambitious and will always be there for you, fighting for you!

Being with peaceful people allows you to figure out how you need to adjust your body language, tone, words and aggressive approach to get better results which could land you in hot water as coming across as insensitive if you do not. They will eventually explode and leave your heart in tatters when their anger comes forth after a long time of keeping it in. Peaceful people are quaranteed to be that rock you can lean on. They will love, adore and support you no matter what you choose to do in life and no matter what decision you make. They will follow you to the ends of the earth as long as you keep their hearts safe.

Being with a fun personality is awesome. As long as you are prepared for continious laughter, spontanaeity,  jokes, surprises and joy in your life. This is brilliant as long as you do not get angry when they do not want to be held down by rules and nagged into submission. They tend to run at this point. These are the guys who have a zest for life that will keep you on your toes, keep you forever young and spontaneous with a never ending adventure called life. They live large and are remembered for their joy and huge personalities.

You then go one step further and get combinations of the four personalities that now make it more fun, more exciting and more complicated.

Some Tips:

So my suggestion is this...go and read up on personality types and save yourself the trauma of hurting relationships that are important in your life. This will help to understand and cement the beauty, love, laughter and gentle caring in a relationship destined to be with you for the rest of your life. This also helps to understand the various relationships that already exist in your life, from your spouse, children, parents, siblings, co-workers and friends.

This type of hidden knowlege is readily available to anyone who wishes to mend, create or begin any relationship. It works for us personally and I would highly recommend it to anyone who wishes to improve any relationship.

Have fun exploring, learning and adjusting!!

until the next time..take care and have fun!

Arthie Moore

Finding your fun side!!

I have been having alot of fun recently re-discovering the various awesome things that I love the most..


Mainly, photography, cooking gourmet food, visiting unusual restaurants and travelling. I am finding that as much as I love the travelling, it is only once I arrive at the destination that the excitement kicks in. Am fast becoming anti-airport check-ins and transfers..In my impatient way, I want to get off the plane and start exploring asap.


My photography though has taken on new levels of insight. I am seeing the world through a very different type of lens. Every cloud, sunrise, sunset and building has potential to be viewed as exciting, thoughtful, fun, delicious, incredible, soothing or just plain awesome to look at.

I have since decided to create a fun Coffee Table book filled with all of my mad, fun photos -Just Coz!!

I have also been thinking of taking up horseriding again..just for the fun of it. I am fascinated by these amazingly large but gentle creatures. There is something so soothing and relaxing when bobbing on top of a horse looking down on the world in a slightly pompous way..lol..ok that is from being so high up.. :)

I have been wondering also, what it would look like to take photos on horseback...hmm..I must try that!

As for food!! Where do I start? I have found that simple un-fussy food is becoming more appealing. Am resisting the heavy creams and over ambitious flavour explosions.

Simplicity is the key. So I have devised a plan to put Sushi and French chefs into the homes of people.

The plan?? You invite 10 friends for a Sushi evening. Our chef arrives with all ingredients and equipment and teaches you and your friends how to make sushi in thee most fun and entertaining environment -  your home.

We start off by making fun cocktails - the key is to be drunk enough to make sushi and then too sloshed to notice how imperfect they are..lol..The tables are set by our crew of highly qualified, perfectionist but fun decor specialists and all you have to do, is sit back, relax and create a little sizzle with conversation whilst the chef sparkles with his skills.

And voila'...you have a fun, highly entertaining, fuss free, exquisite night to remember filled with memories of mis-shapen sushi, delicious drinks, tantalising tastes and wonderful friends who will vie to outdo you on your next dinner party!

Here's to finding your fun side..what ever you choose to do,..just do it..there are no rules and limitations on how much money you need or how much time you must find in your day..Make a choice to find your fun side and go for it.

I am not letting life stop me..in fact, I am allowing myself to be dragged happily with the ebb and flow of the gorgeous energy that this universe has to offer!

Have fun exploring your own neighborhood!

Cape Town V&A Waterfront

Having fun is not restricted to having money! Many times in life, we believe that we have to have money to go somewhere, spend on food, spend on travel, spend on useless memoirs. The best way to enjoy yourself can be found in the simplicity of just being in your own space, environment or even your own neighborhood.


We very seldom explore own own country. We build huge dreams of travelling overseas and salivate endlessly at the adverts of the beauty of exotic destinations, it's people and cultures.


But if you had to just take a step back, you will realise that many people from those countries are actually coming to your own country.


Take a camera and a picnic basket. Stroll through your own town and lose yourself in the tastes and smells of what it has to offer. Looking through a camera lense allows you to feel like a tourist in your own backyard. The very architecture, history, tastes, smells, culture, traditions, everyday life and people interactions that we search for overseas, is right here in your own neighborhood to enjoy.


I love travelling to a new city in my own country, visiting the museums, winefarms, coffee shops and local restaurants. There are always such amazing insights, memories and wonderful stories to be heard from locals. I love it!!


So my thoughts for today is simply this. Choose to explore your own city, neighborhood or country. Don't limit yourself to having to have lots of money to have fun.. become a travellor and stamp your own memory with incredible, funtastic and amazing experiences. Just Coz!!


until we meet again,
take care and have fun!!
Arthie Moore

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent!"Eleanor Roosevelt

REBEL!

“You will do as I ask”, he barked whilst menacingly brandishing his gun, “or else I will kill you”.

Even though it was a beautiful sunny day, inside me it felt like a snowy, treacherous, angry storm.

I was only 13 years old. This big person was forcing me to do something against my will in order to appease his own sick fantasy. What was I to do? I visualised all the protective techniques available to me so that I could defend myself from this monster. None of these helped me against a crazed man who was hell bent on my destruction. I hated every second of what happened next.....

 

That incident stuck with me and with it began a very painful time in my life. For the next few years, I hated and was weary of all men and boys. Slowly however, I began to notice trends amongst the people of the opposite sex. Not all men were bad and wanted the same thing. Not all men or boys wanted to be with me with the sole intention of using me or my body. Not all men were like the monster who had forced himself on me.

Over the next two years, I experienced highs and lows, moments of uncertainty, untold anger against mankind, a lack of self confidence and  mistrust of everybody, regardless of who they were. I began to stereotype all men whom I came into contact with, and mis-interpreted their sincere emotions as excuses for them to take advantage of me.

I found myself not trusting my instincts. I fell into “Goafer” mode. In order to suppress the craving for stability, love and trust that I so desperately sought, I would do everything anyone asked me to. “Run to the shop and get me some sweets”, somebody would shout. Immediately, I would drop everything and do their bidding. “Shine my shoes, do my homework, clean the dusters, fetch this....fetch that.....” As the requests arrived, so too did I race off to complete them, hoping that someone would tell me how good I was, and how much I deserved to be loved and appreciated.

Little did I know, that kids between the ages of 13 - 15 had their own problems, and also needed approval and generally had low self esteems and lack of confidence. Nobody was particularly interested in boosting my confidence, or help me search for solutions to my problems.

 

One fine, beautiful day, as I walked toward the tuckshop, my imagination creating exciting images in my mind, I vaguely heard someone scream to get my attention.  I turned slowly to gauge where the sound was coming from. Shocked out of my reverie, I looked at the speaker and her groupies surrounding her, mocking me with their,‘You are not fit for anything good’, kind of look.

“Get me a cold coke, NOW!!!!” she demanded, much to the great delight of all listening.

Hateful images flashed through my mind, pain gripped my heart, painful memories ripped through my body and suddenly, I had a distinct urge to hit her. Barely controlling all my suppressed anger, frustration and hurt of the past, I lunged at her with frightening speed. She never knew what hit her that day.

I verbally blasted her about the injustices of bullying, of being taken advantage of all the time and the for whole world’s lack of consideration for people who were quiet, and unassuming. I lambasted her for unashamedly using people to get her what she wanted, and never giving anything back or even saying thank you. I screamed at her for not acknowledging people as human beings, because they did not have the money, expensive clothes or even fancy things to show off with. 

When I walked off, I felt like a new person. I knew instinctively that this was my “Turning Point”. I never ever let anyone dictate to me again. I learnt that my actions were a result of my own behaviours. I understood then, that no-one can tell me what to do or force me to do anything. I also realised that not all people were bad. There were only a few bad apples and that did not spoil an entire orchard of pure goodness. All I had to do was Choose!

So from that day on, I chose to become authentic to myself. I stood up for myself and stood up to be counted. I refused to let opportunity pass me by. I volunteered to do the things which made me a better person, never those which degraded me. I learnt that the only person who could really give me the love and acceptance that I craved, was Me! I had to be happy with me, before other people could love me. I loved Me for who I was!

I forgave myself and all of mankind for what happened to me, because at the end of the day, one incident does not define who I am and who I will be for the rest of my life!

Inner strength is prevalent in everyone. The trick is to access it, wield it and all its power to achieve all that your heart desires. Inner strength is knowing forgiveness for all of life’s imperfections, accepting that people are human and prone to making mistakes, and that what we put out is what we get back.

I used my “incident” to humble myself and be more empathetic towards all that I met. I also found that every person harbours an incident/s which defines how they react or open up to people. I must never assume that people know what I have been through. In the same way that I must never assume that they have had perfect lives.

After all, as Eleanor Roosevelt so elegantly put it, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent!” And I will never give my consent!

31 January 2005

Short Story - My Ride of Terror!

My Ride of “Terror”...

It was a gloriously sunny day. Blue skies overhead, birds humming their sweet melodies in perfect harmony with the cool silky breeze. Dew drops glistened like diamonds, waiting for the delicious moment that would gently drop them to soak into the juicy softness earth. All was well in my fantasy land. All people were free and equal and lovable. Nothing could shatter my image of my perfect world. Until...The Suggestion!

“Would you like to go for a long drive to a place you have never been to before?” asked my gorgeous husband Brian. I sometimes relive the innocence of the question compared to the silly fear that accompanied it on that fateful day. We immediately set out with much bravado and camaraderie. There was a buzz of excitement in the air as we set out on our adventure.

I decided that such a journey deserved to be given ample respect, so I dressed smartly. After much thought, I decided to wear my favourite expensive leather jacket, brand new army styled cargo pants, with my prized pair of suede boots to complete the outfit. Just to add to the glamour that the occasion warranted, I threw on some intricate gold jewellery for good measure. I was now ready...

As we set off on our journey of exploration, Brian, decided to change direction and head for Cato Ridge. A beautiful piece of heaven hidden in the majestic rural mountains far from the hustle and bustle of city life, yet secretly teaming with activity of a different kind. Enticed by the glorious warmth of the sun, we threw all caution to the wind and continued at a leisurely pace towards the serene Inanda Dam.

Only a little way into the journey, I began to feel the first twinges of discomfort. Normally, I listened to my intuition and took the appropriate action until the feeling disappeared. We had left any sign of civilization as I knew it, and we were now entering forbidden land as I saw it. We left the freeway and the countryside opened its arms and lovingly welcomed us. Cows otherwise known as “zulu-land robots”, periodically caused us to stop whilst they waltzed across the road at their own leisurely pace. The tall brown tinged grass waved excitedly at us as the gentle wind picked up.

The clouds overhead seemed bent on chasing each other mischievously across the clean blue sky, only to crash in tumultuous glee.

However, the beginnings of real fear began to dawn on me. We were in an area I was unfamiliar with. Round thatched huts began to appear everywhere. From my vantage point in the car, I watched as all these “Black” people went about their daily work. They all bubbled with pure energy and inexplicable happiness. Children ran around unattended, noses running, clothes tatty, dirty little faces radiating all the joy of freedom. Whilst their happiness shone like a beacon of adventures to come, my heart trembled with unnecessary fear of impending danger.

Strange fleeting thoughts shot through my imagination. I saw anger and hatred lurking beneath the surfaces of these supposedly happy faces. I imagined that they were going to attack me any second. Hijack us, leave us lying here out in the “wilderness” to bleed to death. Maybe they will see my leather jacket and clothes and strip me and leave me, or worse....

Hastily, I put the clips of the car doors down. I knew that this was a false sense of security. These people were savages. They could easily break our window and harass us. I saw the news on T.V. I read the newspaper. I knew all about them. Violent savage people out to take whatever they wanted with little regard for life....Oh yes...I knew all about them.

Suddenly, the car stopped. I hung desperately onto my precious jewellery in the hope that they would not see it and be tempted. Brian did not notice anything amiss. Why should he? He had worked in the valley for years and everybody loved and knew him as the Peace-maker. He even spoke Zulu better than English. He was one of them.

Not knowing any of the inner turmoil which were shaking the very foundations of all reality for me, Brian casually told me that we had reached our destination. “No, not here!” I heard myself reply. “Aren’t these people dangerous?” I asked. Brian calmly replied that everyone were friends. Shaking with the adrenaline of anticipation I slowly began to get out of the car. Thoughts unbidden blinded me suddenly with anger, as I relived the time my beloved grandmother was viciously attacked.

She was unfortunately a victim of a government which had created much anger amongst the different cultural race groups through its destructive Apartheid policies. During the 1985 Inanda riots, her home was burnt down, her life savings, clothes, ancestral treasures stolen and her precious animals killed. Her attacker also slashed her across her face with a bush knife in the hope that she would be killed too. However, thankfully, she survived.

I was only 7 years old at the time, yet, I never realised until this moment, 19 years later, how much that incident had hurt me and scarred me in a very dangerous way. Unknowingly, I was stereotyping people whom I had never met, with those select few people of the past who had wrought havoc through their own anger. I was stunned with the revelation that I was being racist! Me of all people who had “Black” friends! I thought that I was Not racist.

As I jumped out of the car, I realised, that I had no right to judge the people in front of me and be afraid of them. I should not look at them in anger and hatred and blame them for the wrong that was inflicted on our ancestors and descendants. I felt my anger slowly ebb away like the tide meeting the shore for the first time. I looked at each face with new and renewed wonder. Here were Human beings. Capable of pain and hurt, love and peace just like me.

 

For the first time, my thoughts cleared. I walked up to the people standing around and shook hands with everyone. Each hand connected to a warm blooded, loving human being. I felt pure delicious relief course through my body as I became aware of my bad thoughts and excited at my ability now to assess where they came from and remove them.

From that day forward, whenever silly racist feelings arrived unbidden in my thoughts, I gently looked at them, and put them into the recycle part of my brain where they rightfully belonged. To date, I have made a concerted effort to learn more about the different cultures and traditions of the people of SA. I am starting from the level of Respect.

After all, “At the level of Respect, All people are Equal.”

Arthie Moore